I was discussing this post with a friend and he noted that Alcoholism is a serious problem in the US, not to be taken lightly. I know this- my brother has a coin that he is very proud of for his years away from the bottle. Fate and genetics can strike any of us. I know that in ways I don't care to reveal. However, I also know that sometimes we have to look at the world in a lighter context. So I hope you appreciate the humorous side of this posting.

This same friend was noting that one service company out there claims that they have a 7-step approach to alarm management. Another claims a 6-step approach. I'm trying to figure out what it is supposed to cure you of, since everybody that has tried them is still looking for answers. It's like the Britney Spears of rehab programs. They want you to have to return for rehab often and expensively.

This friend advocated a 12-step approach which stole from the famous AA aproach. A few conversations later, and shazaam- the concept was born of - Alarmaholics Anonymous. - We urge you to join if you share the symoptoms, and are ready to solve the problem. Help us end the senseless addiction to more alarms. What are the symptoms? Here are some:

Have you been sneaking in at lunch when nobody was watching and putting an alarm on the system?

Do you need an alarm when you get up in the morning, and perhaps do you prepare one before you go to bed at night?

Do you have dreams about alarms and you can't reach the acknowledge button? (this one came from a client)

Do you feel you can handle a larger number of alarms than others?

Do you keep a small alarming system in your pocket in case you need to be alarmed in a place where you might otherwise have not had access to them? (Crackberry users apply here)

When you arrive at work, do you just not feel right until you've had your first alarm?

If you go to a party, is it important that the house have alarms for you to feel comfortable?

Do you prefer to have your alarms alone? Do you find yourself not wanting to be in a crowd when an alarm goes off?

Do you feel that others don't notice that you are dealing with alarm issues every day?

Do others tell lies for you to cover up your alarm problem?

All of these can be symptoms. Please e-mail me if you have more. So here's the 12-step approach:

1. You have to admit that you have an alarm problem, and you want to solve it.

2. You must believe that you can be helped.

3. You're willing to ask for that help no matter what it means.

4. You are ready to inventory how big the problem is.

5. You begin by admitting to others that you have an alarm problem.

6. You are prepared to resolve whatever defects are found.

7, Now- make the call to ask somebody to help you. (TiPS has operators waiting...)

8. Make a list of all the problems this has caused besides just the alarms themselves. (We call this the situation awareness approach)

9. You fix those problems wherever possible except when the cost is greater than the return.

10. Continue to inventory and track the problem symptoms. (KPI's come in here.)

11. You now enter a greater path of situation awareness understanding, and study all of its nuances. Continuing to keep a monitor on potentials for back-sliding.

12. Have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, and want to spread the results in the form of assistance to others who are trapped in the same issues. (Attend TiPS User group meeting.)

This was written with a tongue-in-cheek approach, but as I examine the steps, I realize how close they are to what actually has to be done to resolve an alarm management problem. And I can guarantee you that every alarm management problem is so different that there is no tried-and-true 6- or 7-step approach that will cure them all. Each alarm management situation needs to be considered in its own standing, and an approach crafted to fit the particular situation.

As I write that last paragraph, I also note that there is another service company who advocates that they have utilized four drastically different approaches depending on the circumstances. I believe that is getting a little closer to the reality of the situation. But they negate this idea by then proposing the aforementioned 6-step approach.

Do you have an alarm problem? We can help. We've been helping people SUCCESSFULLY resolve alarm issues since 1990. Come to see us at the TiPS/ Expertune user conference. Held in Beautiful Austin, Texas- we promise to have at your availability the world's leading experts in alarm management. Sure cures to alarmaholism. You can schedule some private time with these experts, and hear their presentations. Product training is available.

Yep- LogMate (http://www.tipsweb.com/products/logmate/) is the sure cure for Alarmaholics. It won't just help you inventory the size of the problem, and get it behind you- it will keep you informed should it ever rear its ugly head again.